PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY
CHOICE SONG: Hold On by Jet.
Yeah...so, I was gonna rant on and on about religion again (b/c of something I ran across earlier today) but decided I was not in the mood.
Today it is officially Chad's birthday. He's dead...so I'm not sure if that means anything or not still.
I try not to think about it too much b/c there is no definite answer, but still, I sometimes wonder where we go when we die. Where is Chad? The Catholics would say Hell. So would the Baptists. Religiously, Chad was a condemned boy. But I'm not religious. So where do I think about Chad going? The answer is that I don't know. As I told him, I'd like to think we just stop existing...that our energy just returns from whence it came, and we with it. My father believes that we each go where we believe we'll go. Chad believed in Hell, I think. I think he felt he deserved hell even. That makes me distinctly sad. But I also think Chad once told me he believed Heaven and Hell to be different from Biblical say so. So I severely hope that wherever he is, whatever happened to his essense, he is happy w/it. I hope he is at least at peace. Sometimes I'm selfish tho, and wish he could somehow know about what's going on w/all the ppl he left behind. I wish he could still hear me when I talk to him (Yes, the dumb cunt talks to her dead friend). Wherever he actually is, I wish he were here instead.
See, I said I wasn't in the mood for a religious rant, but I only kinda lied. This was more religious introspection. And I'm done.
Happy Birthday. I still miss you.
10 Comments:
You’re not the only one grieving today. You’re not a dumb cunt for talking to Chad; I still talk to my grandfather.
They say skepticism is the beginning of faith. I have to say that I still have skeptical tendencies. I like to consider myself a hardcore Christian, but I’m not always certain. I think from my relationship with Chad he was some what the same way. We never really spoke of it, but that is what I gathered from him. If I'm wrong and probably am, because I’m always wrong, please correct me.
I know that I considered him a friend and still do, I miss him very much
If God's Word is the TRUTH . . . and God IS Truth . . . then there is definitely a heaven and a hell......and according to Jesus, He is the way, the Truth and the Life . . . and NOBODY gets to heaven unless you go thru Him. (John 14:6) AND He also said, "I tell you the truth, no one shall see the Kingdom of God unless he is born again."
So. . . if He is right . . . then we either have nothing to worry about, or we have EVERYTHING to worry about.
Ok, how about you keep believing that, and writing about it less on my blog. Preaching to the mosh pit does not a submissive produce. Thankyou for the mini-sermon anyway tho.
...Chad due to certain personal issues, doubted from time to time what he believed, but I think he believed in something, which I suppose is better than nothing if ur into that sort of thing.
No preaching intended. Note the "IF"
chads bday is mine flipped odd yeah fuck you asshole who can just write about what they think of where he went and whats the point of heaven and hell without pain in heaven its boring my god keep your religion to yourself my god your as bad as the mormons its so sad and yeah i talk to my grandma alot i go up to her grave when everbody is gone i kinda lay there and start talking to my self about life hows it going that might have been how i started my shizoness but yeah i do it still cause it give me hope just cause their dead doesnt mean what he stood for is gone and crap keep talkign to him its not doing any harm who knows where he is now but talking to him isnt gonna destroy or mess anything up and happy bday chad
Happy Birthday to Chad, who has had all of his questions about life and death and god and religion answered.
I hope.
happy birthday, chad. i miss you.
I don't know what to believe in anymore, so for the most part, I believe in nothing. I won't worry about it right now. I also don't know if I agree with Ryan or not, considering I could only make it through the second line.
I do know that I miss Chad, my grandparents, and *maybe* even Dale. I also know we don't need anymore fucking preaching, even if it is a fucking "IF." We got enough of that the first time.
Agreed on all accounts, Sammi.
i always talk to people who aren't there.. it makes me feel like they're maybe still around and can hear me.. then i don't feel so lonely.... love u hannah!! happy bday to chad. <3
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