DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD

OMFG my next door neighbor Dixie brought this movie over tonight that kicks so much ass it's just ridiculous. It's a Wayans movie not unlike the Scary Movie trilogy, except that instead of scary movies, it targets all those dumbass black movies about the hood. There is so much stereotyping in this movie...and the whole time all I can think is "They let that kind in here?" (inside joke). omg, I think I now have a hernia.

*Korean Lady(Inside Cooler):Hurry Up And Buy!

*Grandma: Ashtray! You little bitch ass motherfucker! Come over here and give your grandma a hug!
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*Ashtray's Mother: Tray, I don't want you hangin' out in the streets. I want you to finish school, 'cause without an education the only kind of work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs, pimpin' women, or workin' security for Eddie Murphy.
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*Dashiki: Now kids, what do we say to a man that Mommy just met?
Kids: Are you my daddy?
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*Ashtray's cellmate: If you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. If you steal from a man, you can replace what you've stolen. But always cross in the green, never in between. Because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, party, oops! Out of time, my bacon smellin' fine.
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*Loc Dog: How much for these chips?
Korean Woman: Das five dala!
Loc Dog: Five dollars? Damn! I better get some sucky-sucky with that fo' 5 dolars!
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*Loc Dog: Everyone in the hood been up in her! She got more kids than Mrs. Wayans!

*[While filling out job application]
Loc Dog: Name: Loc Dog, baby. Height: Six-deuce! Age: 19. Father's name: mmm... I dunno. Sex: hell yeah, nigga! Salary desired: 3 million dollars! Cash!

*Preach: I'm just tryin' to do to white girls what the white man's been doin' to us for 400 years.
Crazy Legs: Yeah, what's that?
Preach: Fuck 'em

*Ashtray: Pops, can we talk teenager to teenager?

*Preach: You are a strong black woman, which is why I can't be with you
[beaper goes off] Oh, look at that, time to take out the poor white trash.

Good Gawd, how the hell am I gonna get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning?