AND THE POINT IS...?

CHOICE MOVIE: Fever Pitch. Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore...and the Red Sox. I really hate baseball, but I love this movie. It was such a chik flik, and I now think I'm in love with Jimmy Fallon. That is all.

It's hard to say all that's going on in my head currently. Not that I or anyone else would actually care...but, yeah. To begin with, I'm a girl of poor character. I don't eat that many vegetables, I hate exercise, I don't do my homework, and I lie. Alot. I also have bad grammar. Then there's the fact that it is senior year and I'm supposed to be all on top of the college thing, and getting scholarships and good grades(b/c god knows I'm not getting into college on my good looks). Deal is, I really am not. I am one of the most unprepared ppl I know. What's worse is, sometimes this doesn't even bother me. Usually this is during my more depressive times. When I get depressive, I think of Chad and I wonder, did he really make the "bad" choice? Maybe he made the right choice and I'm the one who's kidding myself. Not to say that I'm suicidal or anything, so don't start calling in the Psych-o's, it's just perspective is all. What am I doing w/my life? What will I do with my life? Is there anything really all that special out there for me to live for? It all seems slightly pointless right now...but maybe it's supposed to. Hell if I know.

What's the point of this post? Who gives a shit, and why does there always have to be a point? See that, that was me being contrary and hypocritical, just for kicks. I'm really not all that depressed right now. What I am right now is mad at myself for once again putting off doing homework and being a generally idiotic persona w/my future. Currently I am failing Econ, and more than on my way to failing English. God knows how I can fail English, but I just about am. I have a Spanish oral and a math test tomorrow, and you'd think I'd be studying...but no, it's only 9p.m., I cannot start anything studious before at least 10p.m., it's just how it works. One might say to me, "Hannah, just get in gear and get it done," but you see, No. That's not how I work. Like I said before, I have poor character. To get good character, I'd either have to put in alot of work, or start all over. I don't plan on doing either of the two, so really, I just need an easy out. I thought about becoming a rock star, but really, I'm 4 feet tall and well, YAY more fucking pretending and fake smiles. At least it'd be something I'm good at. But yeah, like I'd ever be a fucking rock star. Gawd I really hate me sometimes. Wait, what was the point of this post? Hell if I know, and why does there always have to be a point? Fuck off.